Why Finding Your Passion is a Myth

Here is another article recently published on LifeHacks.

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/why-finding-your-passion-is-a-myth.html

Is Facebook Our New Best Friend?

Here is my article that was recently published on Stepcase LifeHacks.

http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/is-facebook-our-new-best-friend.html

Are You Really Free?

When was the last time you ran in an open field with your arms wide open? When did you last embrace the world like it was all yours? Is day dreaming something you are still guilty about?

The question is, in this so called free world, are you really free? Free from your own shackles or have you managed to entangle yourself to such a great extent that you feel trapped within?

Though growing up comes with its share of responsibilities, we tend to overlook the freedom it offers. Consciously or unconsciously we restrict ourselves from living life to the fullest. Desires and passions take a back seat as we run faster and faster to catch up in the rat race. The new job, the promotion, the fancy car and the ego boosting title next to your name all seem very alluring but eventually steal you of yourself.

Photo By Instant Vantage

Think about it, what will really set you free? To me, freedom is a state of mind and cannot be achieved through materialistic pursuits. One needs to introspect, detect what is holding them back and then consciously acknowledge and let go of their fears and emotional baggage. A state of mind needs to be achieved where you permit yourself to live wholeheartedly in each and every moment.

Here are a few little things that can make a big difference.

Sip Your Morning Tea Slowly

Nothing is more blissful to the mind and the soul than slowly sipping your morning tea as you watch the sun stretch its arms to embrace the sky. Take a moment every morning to acknowledge your presence, reflect on yourself and just ‘be’.

‘To-Do’ lists are never ending and rushing through your mornings will only leave you exhausted. We all know how severely our days can be affected with a bad start, can you imagine how great your day could be with a great beginning instead?

Let Go Of Your Fears

The mind is an expert at exaggerating fears and can contemplate anything and everything that can possibly go wrong. Though preparing for the worst case is important, it is rather impossible to control every aspect of tomorrow. Over indulging in your fears is like adding weights to your own shackles, it only prevents you from living freely. The mind craves imagination and the heart longs to feel emotions, both are hollow without their intimate other. Don’t let your fears be theirs to exploit.

Most of the worries of tomorrow only exist today and we are pleasantly surprised by what the future holds in store for us. Let go of your fears and embrace what comes your way. What is the use of a perfect tomorrow when you fail to enjoy the flawless today?

For Matters of the Heart, Don’t Involve the Mind

One of the most prominent areas where we consciously restrict ourselves is when it comes to the matters of the heart. From wondering what the world will think to whether the feelings will be reciprocated or not, the doubts of the mind are difficult to purge. We only add to our emotional baggage when we restrict ourselves from doing what the heart desires. Ask yourself: can you afford to wonder ‘what if...’ for the rest of your life?

Don’t hold back anymore and start living from your heart again. If it makes you smile, do it! Give your kids a good night kiss and wake them up with a hug. The teenagers might resist you, but be assured that when the teenage years fade out, these are the memories they will cherish forever.

Call that old friend you’ve been thinking about or maybe your parents who you've taken for granted all these years. Mend the holes in your heart by apologizing for your mistakes and forgiving others for theirs. Life’s too short to live in fear and too long to live with regrets.  

The only way you can feel free and alive again is when you are in-sync with yourself and everything around you. Get rid of the thorns in your life by letting go of the past and not worrying about the future. Live in the present, it is the only thing that is real.

Make the quantum leap from simply existing to living each and every moment!

Mumbai Blasts – Can the Common Man be at Fault?

The blasts in Mumbai have devastated the city once again. The morale of Mumbaikars is at rock bottom while they see no signs of hope or change. Streets where the music of ‘Kuch Kuch Hota Hai’ echoed are now immersed in blood and fear. The sights are too gruesome for our appetite and the cries too agonizing for our ears. Though we try hard to convince ourselves that this is just a bad dream and rationalize our helplessness, this time we just aren’t succeeding. The city is still, lifeless, even the heavens above are in tears.

Photo by Yogendra

Still all we do is wait for the politicians speech and look out for what they have to say. For some reason that I cannot comprehend, we expect different results this time. Maybe this time the humanitarian nature of our politicians will overcome their greed for money, or our fight for human rights will come to an end. But unfortunately our hopes were short lived. Once again we were agitated by their response and future security plans, once again we felt vulnerable, yet what surprises me the most is that many of us do nothing about it.

They say India’s youth has a bright future; brilliant minds enter the workforce bringing in innovation and change as they excel across the globe. Let me ask the youth something: How many of you voted in the last elections? If you did vote, did you vote for a party you respected that shared values and objectives similar to yours? Would you be willing to go for coffee and have a conversation with any of its members? Think about it, either we don’t care enough about our country in which case we have absolutely no right to complain when events like the Mumbai blasts occur, or we've consciously picked members to govern our life and security that we wouldn't even want to have coffee with. Who is really at fault? It’s difficult to take the blame on ourselves but it’s true, we may have caused our own distress. The youth of India likes to boast as to how much they care about their country and how they would give up their lives for it. Have they ever considered living for their country instead?

Brilliant men can rationalize just about anything, what’s our excuse this time? If there is no political party that you truly respect, then create your own! You could call me ignorant but I don’t understand what is stopping us to create a party with bright and honest individuals and have them run in the next elections? Yes the political world can get dirty, but aren’t the streets of Mumbai much more gruesome right now? Are we all just scared? Is the brilliant youth of India not brilliant enough to govern its own country? Why do we keep pushing our responsibilities onto others and hope for someone else to be the saviour?  

Don’t get me wrong, I’m guilty of the same myself but I also realize that change is absolutely essential this time. We all have a part to play, how ever small it may be. Stop taking or giving bribes for your everyday conveniences and stand up for fellow humans when you see injustice. Take ownership to creating positive change yet ensuring that innocent lives are not put on stake. Wars and terror attacks have always been political conspiracies that common men become the victims to, aren’t we just being naive by asking for security from the culprits?

We can either spend our lives complaining about the political situation and living in fear or make a commitment to creating change ourselves. At the end of the day, we are the only ones to blame. It is our ignorance, our lack of desire to take responsibility and failure to stand up for justice that has led things to where they are. If we let evil brew in our home, one day it will enslave us!

Anger – Friend or Foe?

"The world needs anger. The world often continues to allow evil because it isn’t angry enough" – Bede Jarrett

Photo By Joel Davies

Anger is a daunting emotion, a sentiment that we try to evade or even conceal till our wit allows us too. It’s interesting to see how we are repulsed by anger; even an association with it is dreaded. We look down at ourselves for letting it get the best of us, though it makes me wonder, isn’t it just another emotion, a feeling without which we would be incomplete?

Someone once said to me, life is about feeling the feelings, every single one of them. It’s about letting yourself laugh and letting yourself cry, it’s about the empathy and the apathy, no one greater than the other. Would you have ever laughed if you’d never cried? Would you have ever felt love if you’d never been jealous? How would their smile melt your heart if you’d never seen them frown?

Emotions are a great way to learn about your self. They help identify your likes and dislikes, just like a tummy ache warns you about the street food you had. Is a tummy ache bad? Not at all. It’s simply a warning mechanism to prevent you from having something that doesn’t suit your body. Negative emotions play a similar role in our lives; they identify the need to make a change. It could be a change of job, a change in your surroundings or even a change within.

Our natural tendency to negative emotions like anger, jealousy or even dislike is to put the blame on someone or something else. It’s much easier to calm the mind if you can rationalize your innocence and prove to yourself that you’re the victim not the culprit. Though such an approach can help you de-stress relatively quickly, it hinders your ability to create change. It gives you the perception that the situation is beyond your control and therefore you cannot influence it.

When you ask people why they hate their job, somehow it is never their fault. Either the supervisor isn’t cordial, or the work is boring, and sometimes even the co-workers take the blame. But have you ever questioned yourself as to why is the work boring or why is the supervisor not supportive? Did you pick a job you didn’t love in the first place? Is your quality of work good enough for you to be in your boss’s good books? Do you treat your co-workers the way you’d like to be treated? It’s rather intimidating to blame your self for your own troubles and frustrations, and though it may not seem so, accepting your fault is the easiest way to make things better. Isn’t it yourself that you have the most control over? Then shouldn't changing yourself be the easiest? 

We need to learn to listen to ourselves, analyze why we feel the way we do and then constructively release our energy to make appropriate changes. Sleeping over a bad day or drinking away in frustration will not make the problems disappear. Not identifying the cause of the tummy ache will only land you at the clinic, and not listening to your emotions will only drain you of yourself over time.

Nature is a prime example that uses anger to create positive changes in the world. Flowers would never smell good if they didn’t hate being immobile and the wind would never carry their fragrance if it didn’t crave to be noticed. Would rivers carve through mountains if they didn’t long to be one with the ocean and would the sun rise if it didn’t envy the moon?

Make anger your best friend, before it becomes your worst enemy.

Peru – Love or Lust?

I’ve been trying to visit South America for more than a year but it just didn’t work out until now. Sometimes work took the blame, sometimes life did while at other times hesitantly I did. Though me being me had already made up my mind, I was going; how, when, I had no idea, but I was more than willing to figure it out.

‘Why Peru’ is a question I’ve asked myself repeatedly, but have had no answer. There is no doubt that Peru has unlimited things to offer from exotic beach vacations to mesmerizing trails in the Andes to the highest sand dunes in the world, but is that what I’m going for? Have I fallen in love or is this just a materialistic desire I want to fulfill? To be honest, I don’t know. But just like a lot of other things in life, I’ve decided not to question and analyse things that make me happy. Does there always have to be a reason? If so, do I always have to know?



Photo by Epicxero

 Though I’ve explored the Rocky Mountains in ample depth, from nerve wrecking hikes to watching meteoroid showers in the middle of nowhere, going down to the Andes will definitely be an interesting challenge. Not only will this be my first backpacking trip, it will also challenge me physically and give me an opportunity to identify my likes and dislikes. It’s also interesting to see how easy it becomes to mould yourself for things that the heart desires. Though I’ve always been a fan of the outdoors, working out has never been my thing and yet, somehow Peru has made me workout with a smile. I guess it’s all just a matter of perception; the positive aura of one thing can overpower the negative aura of another.

I’ve also been running into tons of people that have either been to Peru or are going in the near future. From my drumming class to new colleagues, they seem to be everywhere! Not only that, but my favourite coffee shop has lately changed its photo art section to pictures from Peru. Is it mere coincidence or meant to be? I don’t know, but it feels good what ever it might be.

Now that the adventure is less than 2 weeks away, I have to admit there is nervousness mixed in with the excitement. What if I can’t complete the trail or run into anacondas? The mind has analyzed everything and anything that could possibly go wrong yet fearing that there might be so much more that it can’t even conceive. Just the mere thoughts are terrifying, yet I don’t plan to change my mind. If I can’t complete the trail, at the least I hope to enjoy what I have accomplished with a warm cup of tea and mesmerizing scenery while if I run into anacondas, I better be the most delicious meal they have ever had!

I’m sure there will be ample things that go wrong but a journey without a challenge can’t be called an adventure can it? The serenity of the Andes and the Peruvian culture is simply irresistible to allow myself to second guess myself. And who knows, I just might be able to answer ‘Why Peru’ by the end of the trip.

Earthquake and Tsunami in Japan

Heart breaking, frightful and nerve wrecking barely describe how I felt when I heard about the disaster. Not only is the video coverage disturbing, sometimes it even feels unreal. Really? I’ve seen the world crash in movies but in my heart I know that as soon as I leave the theater it will all disappear like it never happened. But this is real; there are no men in black that will save the planet or scientists who will put things back in place. The thing that frights me the most is to accept the fact that this time we have no solution.

From the feeling of disbelief and fear, to picking up pieces of what’s left while frantically looking for your loved ones, what Japan is currently going through is something we cannot even try to imagine. We may get the shivers when we read about it or even lose our appetite but that doesn’t even cover the tip of the iceberg on how it feels to be entrapped and left with no hope.

Photo Credit Pundit Press

I’m not here to dramatize the disaster, or make you sympathize with it, these are humane feelings that have to just come to you; they cannot be created or forced. What I am hoping to do is create awareness that though we feel deeply about such occurrences and empathize with people affected by it, doing so is not good enough. I have no doubts that your feelings and concerns are genuine and true in nature but your empathy is making no difference. It has helped no soul, fed no kid, aided no one in need, it has not even given a ray of hope to anyone as they are unaware that you cared.

Make a difference, how ever small it may be. Realize that you could be the man in black for someone hurt or the superwomen to someone who has lost it all. Every action counts and it’s the little steps that make all the difference. Skip a Starbucks latte and donate to trustworthy organizations, volunteer your time to collect funds or physically help with disaster relief and if you are tight on time and money: remember them in your prayers, it’s much more important than you can imagine.

Think about it, disasters happen and untill we are not directly affected by it, we empathize for a while and then simply go on with our daily lives like we would when we return from a theater. Don’t make your response to a great movie and a horrific disaster the same!

I’ve listed below a few good ways you can donate online. If you have any other ideas or suggestions please leave them in the comments.

Doctors Without Borders – They are already in the process of sending medical personnel’s and aid.

Global Living – Another great organization that is already on its way to provide help and support to victims and families.

Google’s Crisis Response Team – They generally have the most accurate and up to date information. From finding people to donating themselves and identifying best ways to help, they update as information is available.

Crisis Common – A great Wiki initiative to making a difference.

The Humanitarian Coalition - A Canada based organization that has teamed up with various organizations in Japan to assist in the relief efforts.

Are You Neglecting You?

Another one for the lazy types like me :)

http://www.dumblittleman.com/2011/03/are-you-neglecting-you.html

Photo by gothick_Matt

Writing at Dumb Little Man

Now you can find some more of my writing at Dumb Little Man, a fantastic website about everything and anything life makes you stumble upon.

Here is one of the many to come : Don't Overthink Life! Think Less and Get Happy

Photo by Jay White

As always comments are welcome.

Ignorance

For some ignorance is bliss while for the others there is nothing more frightful. What is it that you prefer: knowing it all or closing your eyes and avoiding the pain instead?

Though I’m not arguing that one should refrain from educating themselves to make the right decisions in life, sometimes choosing to know more about an unpleasant event or an occurrence  only cause the heart to ache. An ache that cannot be numbed, cannot be escaped and will just linger on forever like a thorn stuck deep within. Do you really want to know why he cheated on you or how she could walk out that easily? Why life is rather difficult for some, or how you really made them feel? Can you digest the truth that forever is not really forever and when it comes to love, you may just be alone.

Photo by debaird

Though a part of you may be looking for answers as you ask your innocent questions, you may be in for a surprise. In most cases you are left with more questions and a greater heartache than you started with. Does that mean no answers exist? Because it was an unpleasant event, I think answers that will soothe the ache do not exist and you just have to let time be the healer. Does time really heal though? I don’t think so, but it definitely does an excellent job at distracting us with our everyday lives and hence numbing the pain. For how long though? Maybe till the scars are not revisited and the desires not asked?

I guess my point is, sometimes in life you just have to let go. Though there is always something you can learn from your mistakes (or the mistakes of others), overindulging in grief or regret is never a healthy move. The quicker we accept the situation, take what it has to offer and move on with our lives, the better of we are. Why not keep the unanswered questions for an evening when you put on your philosophical hat instead?

At the end of the day ignorance can definitely be bliss if used in the right situations. Knowing it all is a desire of the ego and sometimes the mind needs to step in to prevent the pain this can cause. There exists a fine line between asking the right questions and asking too many questions that defeats the purpose itself.

Sometimes not knowing all the dangers can be the only way you will dare to learn to fly again.

Hate Your Job? It Could Be Your Fault.

Take a look at my guest post on Wise Bread.

http://www.wisebread.com/hate-your-job-it-could-be-your-fault

Photo by PeskyMonkey

What If....?

This is a question we have all asked ourselves in various phases of our lives, some out of curiosity while others out of fear. I’ve spent the recent past of my life questioning myself over and over again: what if I had done things differently, what if I had made different choices, but I seem to receive no answer. Irrespective of how much time and energy I spend contemplating the possibilities, I haven’t been able to come to a conclusion that satisfies my mind and brings me to peace.

Choices are made, and even though some aspects are out of your control, at the end of the day they are your decisions, and you, and only you have to bear its burden. Now you can have a lot of excuses, a lot of but’s, though such reasons will simply not calm the conscience, it will only poke its way through many more questions, you just wish you didn't have to face. On the other hand not all ‘what if’s’ are negative in life, some may give you a sigh of relief instead.

Photo By Petr Vins 

Irrespective of what actions or in-actions you debate in life, I’ve learnt that there are no answers, it’s simply a vicious cycle that nothing can be achieved from. The longer you stay in it, the more endless the misery will seem. There is no way you will ever know what would have happened if you had done things differently, or if you would have chosen otherwise. There are no answers that will satisfy your mind of the numerous if’s and but’s in life.

Acceptance of your actions and its consequences is the only way forward. Yes, you could have done things differently and maybe things would have been better, but what if they weren't? Yes, you could have chosen otherwise, but life is full of barriers and you would have still met your share on the other path. The only thing you can do is learn from your actions as well as that of others and maybe next time you won’t leave room for another ‘what if’.

Depending on the severity of your actions, it may sometimes be impossible to get rid of the guilt, but there is definitely something you can do to ease the pain of an already bruised heart. Find ways to fix your mistakes or even minimize the damage or at the least learn from them. On the other hand the more thought you put into your actions and decisions in life, the better the chances that you will feel content with yourself, irrespective of the consequences as you would have done your best.

Life can be rather difficult to live with regrets and therefore you can either try your best and leave no room for another ‘what if’, or excel in the art of rationalizing your actions, as there is no other way out.

Life – Like a Drive through the Mountains?

Sounds exotic doesn't it? Or maybe even crazy as some may say. But I insist, that’s how I want my voyage to be. Partly mesmerizing with incomparable beauty, partly intimidating of not knowing what lies ahead and partly even terrifying as I step into the unknown, just to find myself in harmony with everything I was afraid of.

Think about it, how does it feel when you drive through the mountains? The narrow uneven terrain keeps you on your toes while the mesmerizing scenery doesn't let the mind wander. The windy roads keep the mystery alive and every turn reveals a magical new tale. The rivers are gushing, the animals chasing even the trees whispering, there is so much vibrance and yet the feeling of stillness. And just as you wish to pause time and stay in the moment forever, the next instance hypnotizes you all over again and you are simply delighted to know you didn't.

Photo by Kyle Kruchok

The moon that felt so lonely in the midst of shimmering city lights, feels right at home in the tall standing trees. The ever changing river that finds its way even through the toughest terrain, makes long-lasting relations along the way, yet averts from its purpose for none. Even the darkness in the forest isn't creepy, rather inviting instead. It may be murky and you may be hesitant, but just as the moon senses your fear, it steps out of the clouds and illuminates the dark forest with its radiance, making it the most serene and peaceful moment of your life.

Sounds unreal doesn’t it? But we all know that this is rather very real. I didn’t say a life like this was easy, just like accessing the mountains was inconceivable at one point in time. But isn’t making the impossible possible what makes life worth it all? Don’t you think that a person who’s never experienced the mountains may be missing something in life? Then is there a possibility that we are missing something in our lives as well?

To me the idea sounds exotic enough to put in an effort and make it a reality. Life should be serene, adventurous and every moment simply breathtaking. It should make you heart skip a few beats, make you look back and smile and the curiosity of tomorrow make your nights sleepless. 

Quarterlife Crisis! What is It?

Check out my Guest Post at Wise Bread!

http://www.wisebread.com/quarterlife-crisis-what-is-it

Like always, comments are welcome!

Photo by Bohari Adventures

Women and Shoes – An Intimate Love Affair!

A match made in heaven or the devils nest? Depends on who you ask.

What is it about this fetish that intoxicates such a large population of the X chromosome while the Y chromosome remains untouched? Is the Y chromosome not worthy enough? Do they even realize what they are missing out on? I don’t think so, just like the quote says, “Sometimes you just don’t know what you’ve been missing till it arrives”.

Photo by Franci Strumpfer

What is this shoe fetish all about? The feeling of falling in love all over again at its sight and adoring perfection as you slip your feet into them. The perfectly rational logic of owning 10 pairs of black shoes or even investing in a larger home for the extra leg room. How each pair is unique with its individual charm and poise and simply irreplaceable. Some may call it infatuation. You like something, you have the desire to own it and then you simply get over it. But I’m not sure if that’s the case with me and shoes though. I can look at a pair of shoes I bought years ago and still adore it like it was yesterday. Just admiring it gets back all the memories associated with it. The way the heart skipped a beat when I first saw it, the contemplation associated with desiring it but realizing that I do not need another pair and then finally the guilty pleasures of convincing the so called rational mind on how we were just meant to be.

Just because some may be unable to comprehend the feeling does not mean it doesn’t exist. Researchers and psychologists from all around the world have tried to link this phenomenon to various behavioral and psychological patterns. They say you can tell a lot about her from her shoes: self confidence, elegance or sometimes even symbolizing the desire to attain attention, shoes seem to play a vital role in our lives. Though why do we love shoes? Is it because they make us look good or because they look good on us? A bit of both I think. Though shoes can set the mood and top up our apparel with just that perfect something, not everyone can carry it with elegance and poise. You’ve got to have the right attitude to let the shoes compliment your personality.

So it may not be a match made in heaven and though the Y chromosome may insist on the devils nest, I like to call it innocent pleasure instead. It makes the X chromosome happy and causes no harm, well….except burning a hole in the Y chromosomes wallet.

To me, they just make me happy. Why? How? I don’t know. And to be honest, it doesn’t matter. What can be worse than falling in love and asking why?

Ex’s Ay!

Sometimes Ex’s can make it harder for you to move on, even though in your heart you knew you had good reasons for your decision. Have you ever tried to move on in life, but things around you just don’t let you? You put in the effort for weeks or even months and then someone does something and it drags you back to square one, just like that. Notice how your happiness actually depends on the happiness of people around you. It’s rather difficult to move on with your life if your other half refuses to do the same. There is the guilt, the ‘aww’ factor that they still care so much and then of course there is you rethinking and questioning your decisions all over again.

Photo by Joegus

Is all this healthy though? I mean how many times can you go through the same cycle before going insane? Though sometimes the ending of a relationship can rather be excruciating for one person, we just have to learn to move on. For some it is more difficult than others. Though I’m no expert in relationships, here are a few insights to get over the misery, or help your other half do the same.

Part on Good terms!
This is the single most important rule and possibly the most difficult as well. It simply can’t get better than to part on a sweet note. It will save the both of you a lot of mental trauma, whether you move on in a jiffy or if it takes you a lifetime to forget someone. Parting sweetly (though it may sound ironic) will give you a chance to continue to remain friends, share moments that you enjoyed while realizing that you weren’t meant for each other and avoid the sudden closure to your relationship.

Talking things out
This is a pathetic idea. Who came up with this? You discuss your situation and talk about things when you are breaking off (assuming you’ve rightfully given it enough thought and have strong reasons for your decision), after that talking about it must simply end. There are no added benefits of continue to ‘figure’ things out. It simply elongates the trauma session without providing the aching heart any ease. The quicker one accepts it the sooner they will be on the path to recovery.

Cut yourself some slack
It wasn't your fault and there is only so much you could have done to make things work. Break up’s usually leave one partner feeling like they weren't good enough. That’s not true! It takes two people to make a situation work, and two to break it as well. Don’t doubt yourself and give yourself a chance to see what the future has in store for you!

Distract Yourself
Now I don’t mean to recommend jumping into bed with the next person you meet, but it causes no harm to have a sweet ‘someone’ around to distract you. Catch up with old friends that you may have lost touch with or maybe even go on a date with yourself and spend some time alone. It will help you re-discover yourself and see the bright side of the situation.

Life is not supposed to be difficult but sometimes we make it harder for ourselves and the ones around us. Its simple, if you are the one that decided to end a relationship then trust yourself on it. It does not help to be indecisive and jump in and out from it. On the other hand if the break up came as a surprise to you, accept it and give it a chance. Maybe it is for the better. Maybe in your heart you knew as well that it wasn't perfect, then why settle in life? Explore the world, you’ll be surprised at what you find.

Perfect Someone Or The Someone Who Becomes Perfect?

Is there a difference? Sometimes.

I think there exists a fine balance between questing for the ideal match and choosing to settle with the one who loves you. Though such decisions cannot be judged and are rather personal, I cannot help but wonder if we make them out of choice or fear instead?

Photo by Lenscap

As we grow older, sometimes we tend to let go of our ideas of a perfect life and change the way we see ourselves. We convince ourselves that the perfect someone doesn’t exist and that the perfect job will never pay our bills. Out of fear we settle in life, we take what we get and resist the desire to want more.

But what happened to the perfect love story, the desire to live in the castle and the butterflies in the tummy? What happened to the forever ever after, the love at first sight and the melting of the hearts? Why do we long for the perfect somebody, the one that fits in our ideal love story and then settle for another?

Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes the one who loves us may be the right choice to be honest, and maybe the Fortune 500 job isn’t as bad as we imagined. If we are convinced that our decisions are not based on fear, then we are on the right track. Though if there exists a doubt, if we ever wonder what it would be like or wish for another chance, then we need to slow down and question ourselves.

Can you imagine the world if everything lived in fear? Waves would never meet the shores and wind would never cross oceans. The moon would never glow in the midst of infinite stars and the desert sand would never dream of dancing. A wave that doesn’t crave the shore isn’t a wave and wind without a journey isn’t alive. A moon without its radiance is just another rock and the sand that never dances, burns for eternity.

Life’s too short to live in fear and too long to live with regrets.

Can Ex Jobs Feel Like Ex Boyfriends?

A few days ago I had an interview right across from my first engineering job, a job I realized I still unconsciously dread. There I was, 3 years later, walking on the same streets with the same aura, the same blue sky and the same glass buildings. The streets still filled with rushed drivers and the sidewalk still had the inconsiderate pedestrians.

As I walked along, I felt my heart beat increase, though I wasn’t really sure as to what made me nervous. As the thought of running into someone from my previous work crossed my mind, I froze. To be honest my first job was a perfect job on paper. A great multinational company with multidimensional opportunities, a gorgeous office overlooking the city, a great package with lucrative bonuses combined with a high profile working environment. Though nothing catastrophic happened at my first job, I simply didn’t enjoy it. The work, the working culture, the environment, they just weren’t me. With the thought still overwhelming my brain, I continued to my new destination contemplating the possibilities.

Though the correlation can sound rather absurd, I felt the same fear that I’d feel before running into an ex boyfriend. Would he want to talk to me? What am I going to say? Why did I not come back, why did I decline their offer? Responses like “It was me not you” rushed to my head as I walked faster avoiding eye contact. A few more steps and there it was. The coffee shop where I spent 2 years of my working life wishing I wasn’t there. Every single molecule in my body froze, I couldn’t, I dint want to enter.

Suddenly this new job felt like I was considering returning to my ex. I mean it was right across from the previous job with the same downtown culture that I once hated. A similar multinational company in the same industry, it would possibly also have a similar corporate culture with its associated working environment. And then I thought to myself, why am I here? Is this what I want? Am I really ready for this?

Even with all these thoughts gushing through my brain I was able to have a successful interview and the company didn’t sound as bad as I had imagined. Now though this job has all the positive attributes of my previous job (negative attributes I’ll have to discover myself) the question remains: Do I get back with him? I guess it is a vicious circle that we all are stuck in, whether it is a job or a boyfriend. As time passes by the reasons why we ended a relation or declined a job offer lighten up from our memory, and we fail to see why we did what we did. On the other hand people change over time and therefore we question ourselves, maybe it won’t be that bad this time, maybe this one is different.

The Fear Of Being Judged

No one likes to be judged, but ironically we judge others as often as we blink our eyes. Whether it is a celebrity or the girl next door, everyone is judged to various degrees either consciously or unconsciously. Though being judgmental does not necessarily have to be negative, meeting new people or analyzing situations without having preconceived notions can be a challenge in itself. An art, I’m still trying to learn. Though exceptions exist, our society is rather built on a lot of such generalizations that have now become social norms, some assist us while some restrict.

Does having an intellectual job really define a person’s caliber or does wearing a short skirt really make a girl easy? I don’t think so. It’s a personal choice, not everyone loves chocolates and not everyone is afraid of the dark. If we can accept such differences then why do we generalize on the others? Why do we all walk faster while crossing a built man with tattoos and why is a girl walking alone always tried on?

It’s a free world isn’t it? Then why are there times when we reconsider our choices just because of what others might think of us. Now you could say that this is a sign of low self confidence but that’s not the case. You could be a very confident and determined person but just the thought of what the world might think of you can make anyone conscious. Not because your choices in life are wrong but because they are just different, out of the norm I guess.

What I’ve learned over time is that people that really matter will either not judge you or ask why before they create an opinion about you. They will accept you the way you are and be willing to understand your choices. On the other hand if they act like the rest of the world, then it’s your fault in the first place, you picked the wrong people to be close to you! I may sound harsh, but it’s true. People who love you, will always be there for you and if they walk out on you then aren’t you glad you know?

You may say “I don’t limit my opportunities; I do what I want to do”. But think again, do you really? Would you be doing exactly what you are today if you had just followed your heart? If so, then lucky you, I hope to get there someday. If not, then revisit your heart’s desires, maybe you couldn’t do it at one point in time, maybe the time has changed, maybe you can relive that feeling now, maybe it’s not too late.

Life is too short to worry too much on what the world thinks about you, if you think you are doing the right thing, the world will see it as you radiate it in every aspect of your life. If you doubt yourself, so will the world.

Rain.

Exhilarating or Depressing?

Depends I think, on what we choose to see.

Though I’ve been a fan of rainy days all my life, sometimes such days can be rather gloomy. The cloudy, cold and wet day interferes with all the daily chores, groceries take longer, traffic is slower and I’d rather cuddle up in a blanket with a warm coffee than have the thought of venturing outside.

Photo by Evgeni Dinev

On the other hand, rain has a magical touch to itself that we fail to notice sometimes. An aura, that not only connects us to this vivid experience, but also to every other creature on the planet. It is a time when everything in nature pauses to be awestruck by the experience to follow.

As the clouds approach, magically everyone from the chasing lion to a new born cub are aware that something majestic is about to happen. Clouds gather up, murmuring and whispering the tales of our land while lighting and thunder awaken the dark sky. The ocean roars to make its presence felt while the wind swirls to dance in its music. The burning desire of the sun is subdued while the earth breathes the coolness instead. As the drops of ecstasy fall upon us, the world is in harmony, the lion isn’t hunting and the deer isn’t afraid. Perfect synchronization occurs between the tides and the wind as they meet the rocks like lovers do.

Mesmerizing isn’t it? When every drop that falls on your skin touches your soul. When you dance fearlessly with the clouds as they visit the mountains. When even the sun, unable to resist, peaks in and unknowingly unveils the hidden rainbow.

Truly Exhilarating !

Compliments!

We all love them. Obsess over them. Blush when we get them. Sometimes even wait for them. But yet rarely ever give them.

Photo by Lily

Do we underestimate the value of compliments? Do we forget the joy of being appreciated? The electric energy that flows through your body and the way it radiates on your face with a smile. The way you unconsciously like that person just a little bit more. The way the world seems a happier place and you notice you are smiling at strangers. Somehow people notice the cheerful you more, and you attract more good words. The way the rain doesn’t blemish your new dress anymore, it adds to its charm instead. The way the words stay with you during difficult times, the way they cheer you up.

Isn’t been recognized something we all long for? Aren’t the positive words that make a difference? Then how come things going wrong are never missed, but we fail to notice how gorgeous the little girl looked while making sure her hair was perfect or how elegant the grandmother looked still wearing her wedding ring? How do we forget to appreciate the charming creases of experience on the face of a construction worker or the selfless nature of a limping soldier?

Maybe we don’t miss it. Maybe we notice it, appreciate it in our minds, but in our busy lives fail to convey it. But the world continues to be just as stagnant, the ocean just as still and nature just as colorless. Can you imagine what a single compliment can do? A single thoughtful word may add a ripple in the still ocean, remind a flower of its color, give a hug to a longing heart or even make a tear change its mind!

Do your share, appreciate the world and be amazed at the ripple effect it creates.

A Date With Yourself ?

It doesn't matter if you are in a relationship or not. Sometimes you just need to go on a date with yourself. Why wait for someone to have a perfect evening out? It could be as simple as a walk on the beach with your favourite coffee, a special meal at the local restaurant or just a drive in the mountains with the music turned up. Dress up, feel great and enjoy some time alone.

Photo By Beatrice Murch

I personally enjoy such time outs. Reading a book at my favourite coffee shop after a long day probably tops my list. There was a time when I used to wonder if I would ever get bored of myself. I know it sounds silly but maybe, just maybe, if I spent enough time with myself I wouldn't be fun anymore. I mean how long can you have captivating conversations with yourself and how long can you enjoy the silence? Though the fear of being alone dominates a lot of our behaviour, overcoming it is easier than we think. Though this can be a scary thought, I am glad to announce that I'm rather quite interesting and have enjoyed every moment of my company so far.

As you overcome the fear of being alone you will also boost your self confidence. Believe it or not, walking down the street with a smile on your face and your head held high or asking for a table for one at a restaurant does require some confidence. And just when you gain that confidence, you will be pleasantly surprised to know that everyone is too busy in their own lives to notice or care that you're alone!

The benefits of having some time alone are incredible. You start noticing the little things in life. The flowers on the sidewalk, the shapes the clouds make in the sky, the soft murmurs of the wind and the freshness in the air. How come you suddenly notice all this in the mists of the hustle bustle of the city? Somehow you become much more aware of yourself, your mind is calm and you simply forget about the worries of the world and enjoy the moment instead.

Its a fabulous feeling to be at peace with yourself. As you sip the blissful coffee you see the world just happen in front of your eyes. You notice how the tides try to conquer the shore night after night, how each star is so similar yet so different and how the moon, tonight, isn't lonely. For a moment at least, you will become an observer instead of a participant and be simply amazed at the depth of the universe.

So try it for yourself. Take yourself out. See what the world has to offer and celebrate!

How to Find Your Passion in Life ?

To be honest, I don’t know.

I’ve done a lot of reading from career books to numerous passion tests to people’s testimonies, but I haven’t found that click for myself yet. Questions like what would make you jump out of bed every morning are asked. Though they may seem simple, it can be rather quite difficult to pinpoint what exactly is it that makes you jump out of bed. Say you are eager to go out for a hike, what is it that really excites you? Nature? The feeling of accomplishment? The company you go with? Or maybe even the need to escape from your everyday life?

So if you are excited for a hike, it may not mean that it is something you like. On the contrary hiking may not even be your thing, but just wanting to spend time with friends may make you feel like it’s the hike that you are going for. Over the course of time I’ve realized that finding your passion is not something you can accomplish by doing a test; it requires deep introspection and analyzing yourself inside out combined with the patience of a turtle.

Photo by Gary Christenson

Though I know that there is definitely something missing in my work life, I can’t seem to determine what. Now don’t get me wrong, I like what I do, I mean I chose it didn’t I? It pays my bills, puts my education to good use and even buys me a lot of comfort. But even though I very consciously decided to pursue this, I just can’t seem to fall in love with it.

I constantly have this strong desire to escape out of the rat race and pause for a moment, analyze what I am doing and then decide if I want to continue doing it. If not, then break free from the world of norms, and do what my heart really desires. Though understanding the heart can be a challenge in itself!

Why is the world so structured with infinite unsaid rules? Why does society judge you if you don’t follow the norms. I don’t want a job in a Fortune 500 company and I don’t want to be living under a mortgage for the rest of my life. I’d rather walk across continents sharing a smile and sleep under the wisdom of a thousand year old tree. I’d rather climb mountains and swim oceans. I’d rather let the infinite energy flow through me, vanishing materialistic and societal desires and just let me ‘be’.

As Boman Irani has elegantly put: To find ones calling. Not the easiest thing in the world to do, but probably the most important; I have learnt that though I may not know what my passion in life is, though I may not know which road to take, though I may not know who to travel with, I do know that I’ve just got to keep swimming in the hope of finding the treasure lost deep within me.

Capturing Infinite Energy

I was in a mall yesterday when I saw a 3 year old kid sprinting from one store to another aimlessly. The mom followed screaming ‘Bret, Stop, Come Back’. Though the mom gasping for air, following the kid’s zig zac route definitely made me smile, it made me wonder we well. How do kids have so much more energy compared to us adults?

Although kids have a more physically challenging schedule than us, this kid was fresh, full of life, exploring every corner of his newly claimed playground with hands wide open, welcoming the world. Though the kid’s liveliness made the mom smile, she was in no way going to win the battle till the kid hit a distraction or decide to stop and be amazed by nothingness (At least it seemed like nothing to us).

What is the intrinsic difference between kids and adults? Are the worries of the world so grave that they prevent us from capturing the infinite energy available in the universe? Can’t we all think of moments, when though we were exhausted, we are flushed with all this energy from nowhere? Like when you’re favorite song plays on the radio? Or when you run into an old friend?

So is being tired more physiological than physical?

Maybe.

At least I hope it is. Don’t the possibilities of what can be accomplished seem limitless then? We just need to make sure we are having a great time!

The Mystery of Friendship

How do random strangers become so important in our lives? We had no reason to meet them. No intentions to gain anything from them. Just like us they were walking on the streets. We crossed. Smiled. And that’s all it took!

Years passed by and memories were created. Life moved on but you stuck together. People came and left but you never questioned why you stayed. It is just luck or is it destiny? Why one and not the other? Do we connect at levels we are not aware of?

Photo by Aernst

What magic is it that makes our worries disappear around them? Endless nights staring at the stars, words seemed unnecessary. Desires were shared and fears conquered. A hug when you needed it, a shoulder to cry on. The peaceful aura, the cheerful hearts, the crazy memories and tears from laughter. Even time stood still, looked us in the eye, mesmerized and envious, smiled and stopped by.

It’s an indescribable feeling. Something I can’t explain. Though it makes me wonder, what is it that makes it so special?

Curious Are We?

I know I am.

About nothing in particular though, depends on what catches my eye and makes me wonder. From how to find our passion in life to is there cheese on the moon? From how to save the world to how does gravity work? The mind is limitless, the universe endless and I plan to explore the ocean of possibilities!

To introduce my blog, I’m hoping to create a relaxed ambiance where I can talk about random things and get your opinions on the same. Have you ever wondered the same? Maybe you have some answers? Or maybe I can confuse you even further. If so, then lets continue sipping our coffee or whiskey (which ever instigates your philosophical side) wondering and contemplating life.

I’d love to hear from you, comments, feedback, opinions or even questions (don’t promise I’ll have answers though) are all welcomed.